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Expectations

People tend to get frustrated, upset or angry when their expectations are not met in some way. Chances are the last time you think someone made you angry, you were actually the culprit due to your personal expectations; it was not so much what the other person did or said.

When you release your expectations, you are then free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be. Be careful about trying to change the people around you, having those expectations will usually lead to disappointment, as people tend to maintain their personalities.

Angry people will always find ways to justify their anger, regardless of what others may say or do, it’s just who they are, don’t expect them to change. People who are positive and happy most of the time will do the same; find ways to justify their happiness and positive outlook. The bible reminds us in Proverbs 23:7, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. I know a person who is angry or upset about something about 90% percent of the time that I see them, needless to say, I limit my time with them. You may not be able to change the people around you, but you can change the people that you choose to be around.

I was doing an anger management seminar in Atlanta a few years ago and I remember a young lady who was attending the seminar told me that her fiance’ made her so angry all the time because he was never on time to pick her up for dinner dates. I suggested a quick fix, the next time he said he was going to pick her up at 6pm for dinner, add another 30 minutes to the time. She contacted me 3 weeks later, saying that she had been doing what I suggested and it made a significant difference. He was usually around 20 minutes late, but due to her changed expectation, he was actually early in her mind. She no longer got upset when he was late because she simply released the expectation of him being on time.

My sons and I use to wait 2 hours or longer to get our hair cut at the barber shop. Can you imagine how upset we would have gotten if we expected to wait no longer than 15 minutes? It’s not realistic to not have any expectations in life, but we tend to be hurt and frustrated most by our own expectations. Our expectations will usually determine how we respond. Be careful what you expect.